Confused. Complicated. Girl. Lady. Female. Woman.

Hi!

There used to be a time when I got 5 - 6 forwarded mails everyday. Those were the days... It seems like we wold be telling our kids, "Beta we used to use mails for just fun as well in our time, apart from sending resume or receiving spam and bills here." Anyway I received this forwarded mail after a looong time today. Thought you would enjoy it too... Its about women. Read on!


"A woman (pl: women) is a female human. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult, with the term girl being the usual term for a female child or adolescent. However, the term woman is also sometimes used to identify a female human, regardless of age, as in phrases such as "Women's rights"." - This is how a women has been explained in the Wikipedia. Interesting? I dont think so. Wait Ill show you another way to understand a women.

This is how a mathematician would explain what a woman is -


What about a Physics student? Here is what he thinks a woman is -


Here why a lawyer always hopes his "Kabil dost" or the lawyer of the opposition, is never a female -


Here is how a woman's circuit is designed by an Electrician -




OK so you thought there are no male shopaholic? There are but errr they are a little different from a female shopaholic (Well shopaholic and females are synonyms anyway!)

And finally a normal man, a layman, or your boyfriend understands you like this. Each blue ball is a question, an unanswered problem or a query in a woman's mind. Simple isn't it?



Cheers!
:)


P.S - Thank you Aseem Sir for the mail :)

Ever Heard about "Divorce Cakes"?

I had seen lot of birthday cakes, lot of marriage cakes, anniversary cakes, farewell cakes, welcome cakes and blah blah, but I had never seen divorce cakes. Only till I received this mail from a friend...

Have a look. They look so scaring-ly yummy!

Pyar mein dil pe.. maar de goli!

Aaami Monjolika!

Baazigar 2 - The girl wins this time.

I love my job!


Jaata hai tu kahan..! Re baba!


Peeth mein chura!


Nahiiiiiiiii! Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do!


Ek haseena thi.. ek deewana tha..

Cheers!
:)

Raamleela on Facebook

The complete Ramayan on FB, I mean Facebook... Have a look!

Cheers!
:)

Best Poses Ever

I died laughing. Literally. If you miss this you are missing something in life. Have a look. :)

Pose 1: The 3 musketeers

Pose 2: Pretty Woman on the Bike

Pose 3: Chand mera dil...

Last but not the least...

Pose 4: Mere sapno ki RANI kab aayegi tu

Remember these poses on your next visit to a photo studio. Awesome!

PS: Thanks to Anuj, for thsi lovely mail.


Cheers!
:)

The Divorce Letters

I got this in my mailbox today. Its an old mail but I laughed again after reading it. Thought Ill share it here... Read on!

The Divorce letter

Dear husband,

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Wife.

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


The Reply

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla (woman). I hope that's not a problem.


Cheers!
:)

Some Laws on Chicks

Some laws on chicks:


Rule: Even if you got her out alone, just when you are about to let her know about your feelings, she will spot a long lost friend (I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to Rule: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything in the ratio 9:1.

Axiom: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (some smiles for the guys)

If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.

The nicer she is... the quicker u will be dumped.

The more the makeup, worse the looks.

99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.

The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed.

The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.

Theory of relativity - The more you run towards a hot chick, the more she goes away from you.

The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-

• You are dressed badly
• You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
• Have a bad hair day

All the good girls are either nuns or married. The rest go around with you and ruin ur money, health and leave you a total wreck.

The more seriously you like a girl, the more seriously her dad will hate you.

The love you shower a girl with, is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you.

Cheers!
:)

Drinking Problem

I received this on a mail today. Found it funny. You should also read this and smile. :)

Cheers!
:)

Black and White

This took place on a BA (British Airways) flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.

"Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked.

"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class."

Before the woman could say anything,the hostess continued:

"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

She turned to the black man, and said,"Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Cheers!
:)

A Cold Winter

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man Responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it’s definitely going to be a very cold winter.' The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely, ' The Man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy...’

Cheers!
:)

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Funny! Musr read for all Ladies and Men with good sense of humor. :)

Thank you Karan for this awesome post! :)

Cheers!
:)

Difficult Decision

In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't.

Cheers!
:)