Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Aish Karo!

It's Diwali! You have no idea how lucky you are to be here right now cauz I'm going to give you a VERY VALUABLE gift that you can use for all the post Diwali festival shopping. Have a blast!


Jao aish karo yaar! :)



Right click to download and take prints and then..... Shopping!!!!! Hee hee!


Cheers!
:)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Aaaaachu!!

OK so the 'Swine flu monster’ is scaring the hell out of everybody. You are asked to use masks, sanitize your hands with that ugly smelling sanitizing gel before entering the office and visit a doctor even if you sneeze. In such scenario, what happens to people who suffer from Synus? Unfortunately I’m one of those and every time I sneeze I can see people around me moving a little away and looking at me as if im a culprit! I have a tendency to sneeze continuously for several reasons some of which even I’m not aware of. Sometimes Ill start sneezing if I feel cold, sometimes when I feel hot, sometimes when I get a shock, sometimes when my sleep is disturbed, sometimes when there is too much dust, sometimes when there is too much sun.. and god knows when when!


The other day I and my cousin went to drop my aunt to the Railway Station. We went to her seat, settled her stuff and then sat down to have those good bye words, “Go safely, don’t eat anything from outsiders, don’t sleep before you reach the station and blah blah…” when suddenly, and I don’t know for which of the above mentioned reasons, came a voice “Aaaachu! Aaachu! Achhhu!” this was just the beginning... people had already started staring at me as if I was some terrorist planting bombs of virus everywhere around me! Uff! “Beta, I think you should go home now…” said my Aunt, feeling awkward by the looks everybody gave me and then her. By now I had sneezed at least 9 times in a row. Usually I carry a handkerchief but that was one day when just forgot it. I had to pick my hanky from the bed where I had kept it in the morning, but by the time we were laving we got so late that I forgot it there in haste. Oh I wished I had a hanky then. It wasn’t that I have a flowing nose when I sneeze but it just looks better if you cover your mouth while you sneeze with a hanky. Sophisticated and all! Anyway my hands were my temporary hanky right now.


Anyway people were killing me with their stares. It was one of those moments when you so strongly wish that the earth would open and swallow you inside!! That was also a moment when I decided that I would write this post about the difference between Swine Flu and Cold or Synus. So here it is. Have a look and remember this before staring at somebody who sneezes. :)







Cheers!
:)



Inglish ij a phunny language!

A murder of English language thats really Funny. I died laughing!!
Read On!


The Funny Leave Applications

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days"

Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave"

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10'o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Some Funny English usage:

An Application:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below...."

A Letter:
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith.... "

But I love this one the most!

A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!!) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Cheers!
:)



Men and Women - Difference

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you


Cheers!

:)




Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Indian Google Logo on Karwachauth

Google keeps changing it logo in every major festival, occasion or event that happens in the world. (See all its special logos here - Via Daniel Wang)

Recently it changed its logo on Gandhi Jayanti to Gandhi Ji’s Image. So I was wondering when karwachauth is such a Big and hyped about festival in India, why not change Google’s logo on this special festival. But Google has some other logo (On Bar Code) today so I thought why don’t I make a special logo for my joogle! So I made this! Hee hee!

Im sure if it wasn’t for the bar code thing, it would have been this! I would have sold it to Google just for about for $5 mn. Hee hee!






P.S: This was made by me. Just meant for fun. No Rights Reserved. :)

Cheers!
:)



Monday, October 5, 2009

A Gujarati Salesman


Note: In Sheer Appreciation of the ability to sell!

A keen immigrant Indian Gujarati lad applied for a salesman's job at London's premier downtown department store.

In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Ahmedabad in India ", replied the lad.

The boss liked him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around.

The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss, "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day.

If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way "How much was the sale worth?"

933053.00 pounds" said the young Gujarati.

"What"," How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast.

So I told him he'd need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.

Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to the camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary Napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekend is screwed anyway, you might as well go fishing."

Boss - "From tomorrow, You sit in my chair........"


Cheers!

:)


P.S: Thanks to my friend Ashu for this story. :)