Monday, December 24, 2012

I'm a Delhi girl & I want my first child to be a girl


I was there on Saturday. From 10 am to 6:30 pm. Yes I got wet with the water cannons. Yes I had tears in my eyes and a burning throat because of the tear gas. Yes I was beaten twice with the ‘laathi’ by a male constable. Yes my left ear went deaf for three hours after a bomb exploded right beside it. Not just me, 50,000 other Delhites wet through the same or even worse.

What was our crime? Our crime was sitting peacefully, singing ‘Hum honge kaamyab ek din’ and asking for justice for a 23 year old girl, battling for her life after being raped & almost murdered inhumanly. Our crime was to ask for change in laws for all rape accused, to make it a non-bailable offense.  

 

 

We were quietly protesting, no violence but the govt considered it apt to dismiss us. Forcefully. Violently. There was no political motive behind the protest. Only students, young working groups & parents formed the mob. Everyone was angry but peaceful. Yet we were beaten. Some admitted to the hospital. Because they were bleeding. Hit by laathi. Why? Because they wanted justice for a girl they don’t even know the name of.



I'm perturbed. To the core. But at least I'm proud of being a Delhite & being a part of what can be called a revolution as far as women safety is concerned. I'm proud that so many people came forward, without any fear, & stood for what they felt was right. The strength of the girls was surprisingly very high & they were not afraid of laathi charge. I applaud their courage in the protests. Yes, there was a minor percentage of the violent crowd who were there only to damaged public property. Excluding those morons, it was wonderful to see that people have the courage to speak up for their rights. If this is the future of our country, then there is hope.


 


All the pessimists out there saying "In protest se kuch change nahi hoga." When has there, ever, been a change without the presence of hope? At least do your bit, join the protests, if not, spread the word online. Boond boond se hi sagar banta hai. How would any change come by if you give up even before trying because nothing has happened so far? And if you still can't do anything, then you have no right to crib & blame it on the system. Remember, you are a part of the same system, if you are sitting idle at home, cribbing.

Having been there, then seeing on TV and reading about the protests all this while, a torment inside me has shaped up, that's beyond my control. I am trying to calm myself but it doesn’t help. I’m sure it is for good. I have gained the courage to slap a man in public if he tries to touch me intentionally. For the first time, I stared hard at the group of the guards at my society gate, leching at me, every time I enter my society gate. I used to ignore them. But no more. I stared at them and their cheesy smile faded away. It works girls, protesting at your own level works. The first thing I'm going to teach my daughter is to raise her voice & not 'ignore'. If you're ignoring a crime, you’re equally responsible for the consequences. It was her that day, it could be you tomorrow. This needs to stop here. Now. You don’t have to wait for the system to bring on the system, it YOU who can control what happens with you. Speak up. Raise your voice. Protest.

I am proud to say that I am a Delhi girl and I want my first child to be a girl.

8 comments:

  1. There is a reason why I never became vocal about these protests. These are reactive protests but what works better is continued protests when you see something. I wil quote you a couple of examples and these are not just for eve-teasing or just in "Delhi-NCR". These are in general.
    I cross IFFCO Chowk in Gurgaon daily on my way. The auto-wallahs generally tease a lot of girls; I have seen it 100's of times. When I was new to Delhi/NCR, I was new to this kind of teasing. I tried to shout against the auto-wallahs, three days in a row. As a reaction, the "educated class" of Gurgaon, who were around that place at that point in time, laughed at me as to say that I was going nuts by shouting at the auto-wallahs. The auto-wallahs told me "kar le kya kar lega". The "super-hyper-active-Delhi-NCR-India-at-this-point" junta didnt understand that by reacting to every small incident like this, we will end up eliminating the wrongs. Right now, the same people are all out for protest but when they will need to react on ground zero, they will laugh at me, or at the person who is trying to set things right, and walk away. Have you not seen this reaction yourself in Delhi? This was just one incident.

    Carrying on(after cribbing about Delhi more than other cities) about our dear country India, more-so about its people: We always talk about corruption. Isn't it? We talk how our politicians are corrupt. We talk about eliminating corruption. What we want, eliminate corruption at the top, and corruption will be over. I beg to differ. We are all corrupt at our own levels. But we will never say, let us remove corruption at our own level, because that hurts. And, that to me is the only way to eliminate corruption. We eliminate it at our levels, the next layer then eliminates it at the next higher level and this goes on till the highest level. It can happen, bottom-up and not top-down. I am sorry to say, that if we are corrupt at our own level(with our limited power, and once we have more power, we will be more corrupt), we should stop cribbing/protesting about corruption at the higher levels. We as a country deserve this. Either, we get it straight at our own levels or we start living with this.

    Our problem is that, we are good at talking and even protesting(taking pain) but not good at acting. And, this my dear is the reason that one of us who went on to a higher level is now saving his/her own ass and inflicting pain on us. He/She is one of us who has more power and is used to what we are doing with our limited power. Our mindset, as a country, is corrupt. Let us try and improve that first.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First of all thanks for taking out time and commenting on my post Arkid. I completely agree with what you are saying. I agree that people talk more and act less. I also agree that corruption can only be eliminated when from within and not from a top-down approach. Let me share why I participated in the protests.

      As we all know this is not the first time a rape incident has taken place in our country. They have been going on since long. But there is a limit to everything and the limit to issues related to liberation of women has come. The Delhi Gang Rape has lit a fire inside every Indian girl who has ever been eve-teased or molested or even raped and every day is a fight to survive safely in the society. Come back home without being eve-teased is almost next to impossible. But she fights. The Delhi case has let her to come out and fight for her rights because she is tired of listening to only words and reading articles about female safety. It's time to fight herself. I was there to not only ask for justice for the girl who died a silent death but to ask for my won safety at anytime of the day and anywhere in the country.

      How can you see any change take place unless you act on it? Only saying that going to protests will not help is not going to solve any problem. Only when you stand up and fight for your rights, will the change take place.

      You said, corruption can not be eliminated from a top-down approach. I agree. But do you know how can this change 'from within' be bought about? It is no school or institution that can teach you to respect women or not get into corruption. It has to the voice from inside you. And that's exactly what the protest has done to me. It has raised the voice inside me to stop ignoring the morons who touch me 'unintentionally' and slap them. Don't you think I knew it already? I did. But what my participation in the protest gave me was strength. That strength, which could only come by being in that environment. Hearing first hand experiences of the girls who have gone through the pain. Seeing their parents sharing their grief of waiting for justice. The strength came from that. That's why I participated and not stepped back by saying, "nothing will change." THIS is the change we want. THIS is the change we'll witness in time to come. Time that is not to far away.

      Cheers!
      :)

      Delete
  2. i see a change in the course of wind... its the right course... the 'do time' calls you.. and calls me... and calls to everyone who call themselves human..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Shounak. Hope is the best thing god has given us and this time it is strong. Change is bound to happen.

      Delete
  3. While its good to see the people going to India gate to protest, I stopped just before boarding the bus coz I felt what if most of those going are holidayers? So I wanted to wait and see if they are still there after 25th. I sincerely hope the number grows again coz I want it to happen - with me among them. I agree to what "ArchieIndian" said too - doing ourselves rather than advocating.. and speaking about it and convincing others is also part of doing.. lets all raise the voice and do the deeds together !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I agree to an extent to what you have shared. But I differ somewhere. Please refer to my reply to ArchieIndian's comment :)

      Keep reading!
      Birdie

      Delete
  4. I like when you say Ignoring just doesn't work. You have to stand up and protest against this but I think unfortunately our Society doesn't have enough such girls. Our girls live in a world where they get thrilled even if a begger smiles at them, let alone criminals. I think the problem with we guys in India is here is that we have inherited the Western culture but we haven't changed our thinking. this has created a sort of gap where these incidents are bound to happen.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very Aggressive and yet, expressive enough
    with pain, fear and most
    importantly, "Determination" to create the
    space to make the "Change"
    happen.
    Voicing out, Shedding off the "Ignore it"
    attitude is the first and
    foremost step to be suceptible to any change.
    History has it, be it
    Freedom revolutions across the globe or
    Renaissance or any other form
    of Mass-driven "Call-For-Change", first step has
    always been the shift
    of Ignorance towards awareness. Once
    accomplished, the destination, no
    matter how distant and bleak, it may sound,
    would always be acquired.
    Those who crib, leave them alone, as there
    have always been
    "Parasitic" living beings (I refrain from calling
    them Human) who are
    always been the consumer of what has been
    given to them and till the
    time they don't have it, cribbing and negativity
    is their full time
    business. Even when dished out, they would
    still find ways to crib
    (seems they feed and survive on their
    Negative attitude).
    I loved the way, expressions have been put
    into web fonts, giving them
    a soul. And Yes! I strongly support the values
    you wish to download to
    your-would-be-daughter.
    Regards,
    Shubrat Mukherji
    @SansLaVoix

    ReplyDelete