Friday, May 29, 2009

Politically correct jokes

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:

'I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing some documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything.'

============

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush: What buildings ? What people ??

Musharraf: Oh, What time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour !!!

============

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York .
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: 'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'.

The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker.'

Oh !! Then, it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers.

'But I am not an American!' - says the man.

'Oh, what are you then ?'

The man says: 'I am a Pakistani.'

The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog !!'


P.S: These jokes are written in a light hearted manner by somebody, not me. Nothing to be taken seriously please! :)

Cheers!



Job Opening in Hindustan Lever

Hindustan Lever has 5 job vacancies in their deo /perfume Plant.
If you're interested, apply to: hrhl@hinlever. com ,

The Package:
1. Proposed salary is Net Rs. 52,000 /mth,
2.. Health benefits
3. 6 hours / day
4. 5 working days / week
5. Transport provided
6. Medical Benefits - Rs. 8500 /pm

Conditions:
1. You only need to have a very good sense of smell.
2.. Willingness to explore with your nose

Here is a Demo of the Job-





Cheers!



Selective Twitter Updates - An awesome application to link Twitter and FB

Ok so you have an account in Twitter. You also have an account on Facebook. You want both your accounts to be updated regularly but feel too lazy to visit both sites and update them one by one.

No worries! The Twitter application is here to save your time and energy. After you add this application to your FB profile, whatever you update on your Twitter gets updated on FB status message s well. Cool no? But hey! Whenever you RT something or write something on some topic with a # (hasgtag) that also gets updated on FB. You are now spamming your FB friends with your twitter updates. Thats not happening! :(

I was facing the same problem when I came across this new application on FB developed by @anddy called "Selective twitter status". The application lets you update selected updates from your twitter account to your FB profile. You can chose to update a same status msg on FB as well as twitter by just adding the hash tag - #fb anywhere on your twitter update. For example -


and this is how it gets updated on your facebook profile -


Now Isn't that really cool? I thought so!

In case you have the twitter application already added on your FB, dont forget to completely remove it from your application tab on the left bottom of your homepage.

So next time you want to RT some nice tweet or write on some trending topic, dont think about spamming your FB! Enjoy tweeting to the fullest!

O BTW, don't you follow me already on twitter? Arre to karo na! @ShikhaBirdie Hee! hee! :P

Cheers!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Some Zoozoo pictures to tag your friends!

Grab these pictures to tag your friends in your Facebook or Orkut albums. Go have some fun!






Cheers!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I love ZooZoos



These days, Im in love with a new species on earth called ZooZoos. For all those who still dont know what they are, remember the cute characters in the latest Vodafone Campaign? Aren't they cute? Now did you guys know that they are not animated but local actors from Mumbai wearing masks and dresses? Surprised? If you dont believe me, check this out!

You can also read the interview of
Prakash Varma, ad filmmaker, Nirvana Films, who has directed the commercials, and reveals that the Zoozoos aren’t animated characters.

And guess what these cute creaters are catching up with the online world with a pace not every new character achieves! Read "
ZooZoos hijack the online world"

They have an official fan club on FaceBook and have crossed a fan list of more than 170000 people in just one month! On May 4, the keyword ‘ZooZoo’ was the third highest search word on Google.co.in and its YouTube channel is the second most subscribed channel in India.

I love ZooZoos....! Muaah!

Cheers!


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Cauz I want to write it...

Its been long that I updated my blog,
Seems like it will become a clog,
But hey! That's not so true,
I will keep it active though my followers are few!
My visits wont be that often but
I wont let my blog like that shut.
Cauz my life was, with recession, badly hit,
but im still writing this silly thing,
cauz I want to write it...



Bad Conductor

Once there was a very bad bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus,but he didn't stop the bus.Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital
punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the good Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room . He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves first. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the thing once again.But if you dont have time or patience. Read on...


During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died!!

Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your chapter on Electricity!!

I love this kinda PJs!

Cheers!


REMEDY FOR CONSTIPATION

Election time hai. Maine socha main bhi apni taraf se bol dun. Lo pado...

If you're bothered by occasional or frequent
constipation, repeat the following,
three times in quick succession,
when symptoms occur:

"My future now lies in the hands of Mayawati, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Laloo Prasad Yadav, Jayalalitha, Prakash Karat and Bal Thackeray."

If that doesn't scare the shit out of you,
then you are probably destined to be full of it for the rest of your life.

GO OUT & VOTE !!


Cheers!


A husbands nightmare

Im not sure if they would like it or not, but this is specially dedicated to working men who always complain about their wives about... well read on!

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bath room door. As he peered inside he found wet towels,scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him,smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."


Cheers!