Monday, August 31, 2009

Fully integrated system

This is a scenario after we would have a Fully integrated ID card system. Life would be completely different! Read on!

A person calls Pizza hut to order a Pizza. This is how the conversation flow is-

Operator : Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...
Customer: Hello, can I order....

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?
Customer: It's eh..., hold........ ..on...... 889861356102049 998-45-54610

Operator : OK... you're... Mr Kumar and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888.
Customer: How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : We are connected to the system Sir
Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...

Operator : That's not a good idea Sir
Customer: How come?

Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir.
Customer: What?? What do you recommend then?

Operator : Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator : You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir. Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?

Operator : That should be enough for your family of 5, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00
Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?

Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.
Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car...
Customer: What??!!

Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car... registration number GZ-05-AB-1107.
Customer: ????

Operator : Is there anything else Sir?
Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator : We normally would Sir, but based on your records you'realso diabetic......
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 2023 you were be convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... .?
Customer: [Faints]

Cheers! ;)

1 comment:

  1. omggggggggggggggg, this is bloody hilarious. nice one. well, half of those things can become true. but, indicating the car registration number, diabetes details is just too much.

    The customer is different from the consumer. The customer can always buy products for his family.

    ReplyDelete