Aaj phir...

Aaj phir badal chaye magar, aaj fir barish na hui,
aaj phir tumhari yaad aayi magar, maine usse chubhne na diya...

Aaj phir hawa chali magar, aaj phir rim jhim na hui,
aaj fir dil mein aah hui, aaj phir usse daba diya...

Aaj phir bijli to kadki par, aaj phir badli barsi nahi,
aaj phir aansun aaye magar, aaj phir unko girne na diya...

Aaj fir andhera chaya tha, aaj fir zameen geeli na hui,
aaj phir dhadkan tez hui to thi, par dil ne use chhup kara diya...

Bas samay ab yahin pe tham jaaye to...

Bas samay ab yahin pe tham jaaye to,

zindagi bas yahin pe ruk jaye to,

kuch gham nahi hoga, na kisi se koi shikayat hogi,

aane wale kal se jo dil darta hai, usse bhi kuch rihayat hogi..

Aage badhne ka hausla nahi hai dil mein,

peeche mudne ka rasta bhi kho chala hai,

yaadon ke daman se khud ko chhudana hai,

is baat ka ehsaas mujhe ab ho chala hai...

Jo kal mein reh gaya hai kuch hissa mera,

wo bas dil se choot jaye to,

Bas samay ab yahin pe tham jaaye to,

zindagi bas yahin pe ruk jaye to..

:)

My Prince with the Diamond Ring

There was a dream I always fantasized, 
since I was a little girl, 
the stories of which I saw n heard, 
about the princess, prince and their whirl..

That one day some prince charming would, 
come n sit on his knees, 
then take out that big diamond ring, 
and ask me - "Will you marry me, please"?

So as I grew, the dream in me,
got stronger and stronger,
and day by day it grew and grew,
with my wait becoming longer..

Then one day my prince charming came, 
in all his pride and glory, 
he was the son of a great king, 
who, as yet, was not a part of my story. 

Me n my prince shared lots of smiles,
and tears together,
and he said, he will love me,
forever and ever.. 

We hugged, we kissed, we looked at each other,
and days and night would pass, 
we would lie and stare at the stars all high,
in the misty nights on the dew wet grass..

I told him about my dream one day,
and my fascination about the diamond ring, 
he said he would buy me many,
but not as my fantasized way.

I cried and asked why such harsh words,
you say oh prince my? 
he said, the king, looks upto him,
with his hopes high.
King wants me to marry only a princess,
one who is tall and fair, 
someone who would make him proud,
and is beautiful with long hair..

I think I was too simple,
to understand the king demands, 
'cause I always thought I was a princess in my own world,
and would never surrender to any commands.

My prince tried to tell the king,
how I was the one he loved for life,

in happiness or sadness
he wanted me to be his wife,

but the king had different dreams,
for his son's future wife,
and asked the prince to make a choice,
between her or his father's life!

He said, "Oh Son, please understand my position,
I have many many social obligations,
I cannot let your love hamper,
those age old perceptions..."

Poor prince, what could he do,
he bowed down in front of the highness, 
he came and held my hand tight,
with eyes losing their brightness..

I read the words in his eyes,
and hugged him tight to save the white lies,
we kissed good bye and promised to never see each other again, 
and parted our ways to 'move on' but in vain.. 

With broken heart, I stand alone looking at the fort oh so high,
with tears in eyes on lonely nights with past full of sigh,
I don't want the diamond, no nor do I want the ring,
I only wish, oh mighty lord, he my prince was not the son of a king...

:)

Ajeeb hai na...

20 rupay ka note bahot zyada lagta hai jab traffic light pe khade budhe aadmi ko dena ho,

magar hotel mein tip deni ho to wohi note kitna kam lagta hai.

Ajeeb hai na...

Teen minute ke liye bhagwan ko yaad karna kitna mushkil lagta hai,

Magar 3 ghante ki film dekhna kitna asaan.

Ajeeb hai na...

Pure din mehnat ke baad gym jaane se nahi thakte hum,

magar jab maa ke pair dabana ho to saari duniya ki thakaan hamare paas hoti hai.

Ajeeb hai na...

Valentine's day ke liye poore saal intezar karte hai,

Par mother's day kab hai yaad humein akhbaar dilate hain.

Ajeeb hai na...

Ek roti nahi de saka koi us masoom bachhe ko lekin,

wo tasweer lakhon me bik gayi jisme roti ke liye vo bachha udas betha hai.

Ajeeb hai na...

Breaking News: Pub is a Time Machine!

BREAKING NEWS: It turns out that there's a scientific and logical explanation for why people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the early hours of the morning. The reason for this odd behavior is based on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory.

It works like this:  It is a well-known fact that the more you drink, the faster you move. After about 8 beers (or 4 double whisky), you're moving at speeds closer to the speed of light, and this is where Einstein enters the picture.  According to his Relativity Theory, anybody moving at, or close to the speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e. time for you in the pub passes slower than for an observer outside the pub. Complicated calculations have shown that the pub becomes a type of time machine: for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours pass outside the pub.

A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 o'clock, I'm gonna surprise the family and get home early!!" However, the moment this person steps outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative radiation from the environment, and he/she then goes:" Why is it so quiet?? OMG!!! It's half past one!! WHAT HAPPENED!!??" 

The answer, of course, is Time Dilation!! I've tried to explain this to outside observers, but so far nobody (except Fellow time travelers) have been able or willing to understand the sound Scientific basis of this phenomenon. Have you? 

Thank you Deepan for the mail! :)

Cheers!
:)

Old Man & the Diamond Ring

An old, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend. 

The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special." 

The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $40,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man said, "I'll take it!" 

The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon." 

Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "There's no money in that account!" 

The old man said, "I know, but let me tell you about my weekend!"


Cheers!
:)

Zindagi hai jiye jaati hun

Zindagi hai jiye jaati hun,

pal pal ek safar tay kiye jati hun

Dil kuch kehta hai, dimaag kuch aur,

Is dil-dimaag ki jung mein pise jati hun,

Zindagi hai jiye jati hun..

Dard nahi gussa hai mujhe,

Zubaan pe nahi aata,

andar hi andar ghute jati hun,

Aankhon ka paani behta hi nahi,

gale se hi nigal jati hun

Zindagi hai jiye jati hun,

Dil-dimaag ki jung mein pise jati hun..

Dukh ab sama chuka hai dil mein

Is gusse ka kya karun, samajh nahi aata,

Daant kas leti hun kabhi, kabhi mutthi bana ke,

Apne aakrosh ko bas,

mann hi mann mein sahe jati hun,

Zindagi hai jiye jati hun,

Dil-dimaag ki jung mein pise jati hun..

Dil bhara hai, samundar jitna gehra,

Kisi se kuch kehne ka jee nahi chahta,

Dil dimaag ko samjhata hai, aur dimaag dil ko behlata hai,

Din hai ki kat-ta hi nahi, fir bhi bas hase jati hun,

Zindagi hai jiye jati hun,

Dil-dimaag ki jung mein pisi jati hun..

Move on

"I have said yes shivani." As I read these words on my mobile, I went numb. It struck me as lightening. Like I could not feel myself. It was 30th October 2011, 11:20 pm. It was a message from him. He had said yes for some girl. He would be marrying her soon.

Though I was expecting the 'final thing' to happen any of these days, and I thought I was ready for it, even then, the sms came as a shock. I didn't know what to do. I replied with my numb mind - 'Okay... All the best :)". I could not sit amongst everybody anymore. I went to my bed. My neck was choking. But I could not do anything. I could not cry. I didn't want to share it with anybody. I lied down. I felt my eyes go moist but I didn't want it to flow. I stopped them. I did not cry.

I tried to sleep. I couldn't. Four years of relationship was streaming like a movie in front of my eyes. I felt helpless. Suffocated. I thought I need sleeping pills. I won't be able to sleep ever now. I need pills. May be I should eat some pills and die. I should die.

I tried to sleep again. No negative thoughts Shivani. You're a strong girl. You will move on. Don't think about the past. MOVE ON. Would he be sleeping now? May be he is drinking because he is sad and alone, just like me. Oh wait, he is not alone. He has said yes, means he likes that girl. "I will not marry anyone my parents like, unless I really like her." He had told me. Oh he is NOT alone. He has a new person in his life now. He must be talking to her on phone. My neck choked again. Don't think about it Shivani. Dont think about it. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I could not.

I want to smoke. I can't. I dont have a cigarette. Ill smoke on my way to work tomorrow morning and on my way back to home. I'll smoke everyday now. May be that'll help. NO! Smoking is bad. No smoking. No smoking. Ill be fine. Its okay. Happens. I knew it had to happen. Its okay Shivani. Move on. Dont think about it. Sleep.

Is there an SMS from him on my mobile? I checked my phone. No. Good. How must he be feeling right now? He must be sad too. I'm sure. Yes. Okay. On my way to work tomorrow, Ill speak to him.. oh No. I can't. Its over. Yes Shivani its over. FOREVER. You will never speak to him now. He will never call you now. You will never meet. Ever again. Choking. Deep breath. Deep breath.

I imagined my life without him. It was incomplete. I was a fool to have hopes till 11:19 pm on that Sunday night. I had plans of meeting him over the weekend after my classes. "I have said yes shivani. I have said yes shivani. I have said yes shivani." I repeated this sentence a million times in my head. He has moved on. He likes some other girl. May be its Tina, the girl he met earlier once and liked. I saw her on Facebook. She was pretty.  Because he cant say yes to a girl in one meeting. He must have had her in mind from sometime now. Or maybe its that Ghai girl. He has been meeting her recently. May be. Whoever. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SHIVANI. Just sleep. You have to go for walk tomorrow morning. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

Its over. Yes accept it. Its over. He has made his choice. He loves his parents. He is a good son. You know that. You always knew that. He had told you. He can't be blamed. I'm not blaming him! I can't. He is a good boy and I respect his decision. I'm okay with it. You have a choice? He has moved on Shivani. He has chosen someone else over you. He has got your substitute. No wait, she is not a substitute, she is a replacement. You have been replaced Shivani. Now move on. It's time. It's over. Be strong. Let go. Move on Shivani. Move on.

A Strange Feeling - Steve & Bubu

Yesterday was a busy day for me. Therefore I could neither switch on TV, nor could log-on to twitter or even hear FM. I was out all day but did not hear the news even once. I came back home in the evening and switched on my white macbook around 9 pm, opened Tweetdeck and started reading the mentions sent to me. I read this - 

@AalsiTattu @SomeBirdie Change your bio. :( #iSad

@redhawt79 @SomeBirdie hi birdie hope u are fine plz change ur intro on with ur DP as Steve jobs now Rest In Peace and now he can't share Maggie with u.

FYI: To understand the connection of these tweets to the article, you should know what my bio reads on twitter. It says - "I'm a devil in disguise and I don't share my #maggi with anyone, not even Steve Jobs."

A sudden thought ran across my mind and I checked the Trending Topics. I was right. He had left us. Steve Jobs had lost the battle against his cancer. Sad. I was sad. Very sad. I didn't know I would feel this bad for someone I hardly knew. I know I had read a lot about him recently when he stepped down as the CEO of Apple, still I never felt any connect. But today, when he has gone, I feel sad. So sad? Strange.

I was surprised by the pain I had in my heart. It was similar to what I had felt for my 'bubu' (Bubu is an old man in Pahadi language). He used to stay in our neighborhood when we were kids. I would have been in class 3 or 4 then. He was not married. He had no family. He stayed alone in a dark house with no furniture. He had a strong face and a lean body. He always smoked 'Bidi'. He was not educated. So I and my sister used to teach him to write his name on slate and floor with chalk. He used to get some lottery tickets for us to play 'Dukaan dukaan'. Those fresh bundles of lottery tickets of 20, 50, 100 and 1000 were our currency back then and we would please bubu by dancing and singing to get those. After growing up playing with him for 12 years, we shifted to a new town and left him behind. I was a kid then, so I don't remember crying a lot for him, but I do remember that he cried for us. A lot.

Days passed and we grew up. Distance grew and memories faded away. He did not have a mobile or a landline. So sometimes he would just call us from some shop and ask us how we were doing. This happened almost 2 times a month initially and became lesser and lesser month by month. Sometimes, when we returned from school, ma would tell us, "Bubu ka phone aaya tha. Tum log to the nahi.. Bechare.. Unki tabiyat theek nahi hai.. There is nobody to take care of him." I would feel bad but then forget it the next day.

Anyway, after I joined college, one day maa told me that 'Bubu' had passed away. Now, it had been ages that we had met him, the memories of childhood were also dim, but as I heard this sentence I felt a deep pain in my heart. It was an unexpected pain. His strong face, full of wrinkles and a firm smile ran across my mind. I could see him there. In his shrugs, and a bidi in hand saying.. "Chinu... aa ja mujhe mera naam likhna sikha de." I could see him in his dark house, sleeping alone. Coughing alone. Making tea for himself. Taking a bath in the open with the cold water. I could see his loneliness. I could feel his pain. Tears started rolling down my eyes. I had not even thought about him in all these years, apart from when he took the pain of calling from STD booths and other people's shops. How much he loved us. And we never bothered. I felt miserable. I felt blocked. I could not believe that our 'Bubu' is no more. I would never be able to see him again, hear him again. I was standing there. Still. 

I have tears in my eyes as I write this. My neck is full of that strange pain I felt when I heard of his death. And when I read about Steve last night, I felt a similar pain. Now I have no idea why I felt that but I did. Though I know the difference, the pain has washed off for Steve now. I know when I'll hear about him, I won't cry. I won't feel a sudden strike of bolt in my heart that I feel for bubu, even today. 

The regret would always remain in my heart that I could have done something for Bubu, to make his life better, but I didn't. I don't have a single picture of his. That's how it goes. We never value people when they are with us and regret not doing anything after they leave us. Yes I know its a cliche but it is one truth that manages to survive even after we all read it so many times. We ignore it by calling it a cliche. What an irony.

The world will miss you Steve, I miss you Bubu...

RIP.

Smart Satan

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer - you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer? x-)"

Cheers!

:)

An Engineer's View on Hell's Temperature

Its Engineer's Day today! This Post is a dedication to all the Engineers of the world who have made our lives so much more convenient and simple to live. Read on!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

Cheers!

:)