Drinking Problem

I received this on a mail today. Found it funny. You should also read this and smile. :)

Cheers!
:)

Black and White

This took place on a BA (British Airways) flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.

"Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked.

"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class."

Before the woman could say anything,the hostess continued:

"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

She turned to the black man, and said,"Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Cheers!
:)

A Cold Winter

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man Responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it’s definitely going to be a very cold winter.' The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely, ' The Man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy...’

Cheers!
:)

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Funny! Musr read for all Ladies and Men with good sense of humor. :)

Thank you Karan for this awesome post! :)

Cheers!
:)

Difficult Decision

In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't.

Cheers!
:)

FB - Behenji Mayawati's Page - Ha Ha Ha!

You HAVE to see this ok! You just have to!

(Click to enlarge, You cant afford not to!)

Cheers!
:O)

You know you are a Delhiite when...

You know you are a Delhiite when.....

1. You drink only on Monday, Wednesday , and Thurday to Sunday evenings. And try not drinking on Tuesday.

2. Treating a friend means - Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab.

3. Even in the most posh colonies, you hear, "Aaloo lelo !!!, Bhindi le lo !!!! Pyaaz le lo !!!!, Tamatar le lo......"

4. And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor "Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!" [Even with Half a kilo Carrot - Dhania & Hari Mirch is expected free ] ;-)

5. A place to meet is Mocha, (CCD), Barista, Hookah.

6. You use the word "setting" or "jugaad" at-least once a day.

7. You have not visited either of - Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple . It is only for tourists, so Delhiites say.

8. You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more populary known as NEODA) - haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla's condition and give him what he asked.

9. You glare at people who call Gol Guppas as Pani Puri!

10. You always ask the vendor "Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?"

11. Schooling is best is Delhi not because of CBSE, but because you've had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations preponed due to sudden increase heat in Summers and at least two Rainy Day off during Monsoon.

12. You have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.

13. You understand all important words in Punjabi & punjabi "helping verbs" like teri maa di, teri bahen di... oye madar @#$% ... oye bahen @#$$. Almost every Delhiite understands Punjabi to an extent. PUNJABI unites everyone.

14. You call the waiter in the restaurant "boss" or "Pappey" & tack on "yaar" "bhai" to almost every sentence.

15. You know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kake Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj. You've at least tried it once! And you see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Mercedes parked outside it!

16. You describe practically every other person on the planet as "Vella". ('Idle' or Nikamma in Punjabi).

17. You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !

18. You call every stranger 'Bhaiyya'.

19. You refer to East Delhi as 'Jamuna Paar'.

20. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.

21. Pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb).

22. Aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad !

23. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts... of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.

24. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.

25. You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.

26. And you have fought at least once every month with neighbors over parking...

27. You park your Car and take a Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar / Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don't get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.

28. And then you say apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji !!!!!

29. You've hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg and waited for midnight to do it.

30. You have bribed a traffic cop (Mama) at least once, every month.

31. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.

32. You use "contacts" (jugaad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to play-school admissions.

33. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omlette at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh, Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel, Chana/Kulcha at Scindia House and Chaat at UPSC.

34. Metro rail is your Pride but you travel in your Car.

35. You call people from north east 'chinkis'.

36. You think EVERY South Indian comes from ' Madras ' and is Madrasi.

37. You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.

38. You are a good driver coz you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.

39. The only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.

40. You expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city! Woho.!

41. DESPITE all the good and bad........You still Love Delhi ...

42. You keep singing ..... Dilli hai Dil Walon ki..... Oye Balle Balle !!!


Cheers!
:)

Cauz I want to write it...

Its been so long that I came online,
these silly ppl deactivated the web in mobile of mine.
I was out of office for a week..
enjoying my didi's wedding and enjoying my sleep!
Couldnt update my blog, or FB or Twitter,
Cauz I was also working as my cousin's baby sitter.. :)
Now that Im back, Ill do the posts with a touch of wit
and so I write this silly thing.. cauz I want to write it...

Cheers!
:)

Let me sleep!

Such a cute video it is na! Have a look.

Cheers!
:)

Aish Karo!

It's Diwali! You have no idea how lucky you are to be here right now cauz I'm going to give you a VERY VALUABLE gift that you can use for all the post Diwali festival shopping. Have a blast!


Jao aish karo yaar! :)

Right click to download and take prints and then..... Shopping!!!!! Hee hee!

Cheers!
:)

Aaaaachu!!

OK so the 'Swine flu monster’ is scaring the hell out of everybody. You are asked to use masks, sanitize your hands with that ugly smelling sanitizing gel before entering the office and visit a doctor even if you sneeze. In such scenario, what happens to people who suffer from Synus? Unfortunately I’m one of those and every time I sneeze I can see people around me moving a little away and looking at me as if im a culprit! I have a tendency to sneeze continuously for several reasons some of which even I’m not aware of. Sometimes Ill start sneezing if I feel cold, sometimes when I feel hot, sometimes when I get a shock, sometimes when my sleep is disturbed, sometimes when there is too much dust, sometimes when there is too much sun.. and god knows when when!

The other day I and my cousin went to drop my aunt to the Railway Station. We went to her seat, settled her stuff and then sat down to have those good bye words, “Go safely, don’t eat anything from outsiders, don’t sleep before you reach the station and blah blah…” when suddenly, and I don’t know for which of the above mentioned reasons, came a voice “Aaaachu! Aaachu! Achhhu!” this was just the beginning... people had already started staring at me as if I was some terrorist planting bombs of virus everywhere around me! Uff! “Beta, I think you should go home now…” said my Aunt, feeling awkward by the looks everybody gave me and then her. By now I had sneezed at least 9 times in a row. Usually I carry a handkerchief but that was one day when just forgot it. I had to pick my hanky from the bed where I had kept it in the morning, but by the time we were laving we got so late that I forgot it there in haste. Oh I wished I had a hanky then. It wasn’t that I have a flowing nose when I sneeze but it just looks better if you cover your mouth while you sneeze with a hanky. Sophisticated and all! Anyway my hands were my temporary hanky right now.

Anyway people were killing me with their stares. It was one of those moments when you so strongly wish that the earth would open and swallow you inside!! That was also a moment when I decided that I would write this post about the difference between Swine Flu and Cold or Synus. So here it is. Have a look and remember this before staring at somebody who sneezes. :)

Cheers!
:)